I have the utmost respect for individuals who are supremely competent at their jobs -- whether they are a firefighter, garbage man, school teacher, or jizz mopper in a peep-show booth. It doesn't matter. The point is, competence is not an easy thing to come by these days.That said, even competent people make mistakes every now and then, but the severity of the consequences of those mistakes varies greatly depending on one's line of work. Let me give you an example:
If I go into McDonalds and ask for a hamburger without pickles, and I'm served a hamburger with pickles, nobody dies. If, however, I'm having a heart attack, and when the paramedics arrive, the best they can do is offer me a hamburger with pickles, the consequences might be very different. That's not quite what happened in this case, but it’s close enough.
A 39-year-old gentleman, from lovely Washington, “still not a state” D.C., called 911 to complain of chest pain and trouble breathing. Paramedics were dispatched, and when they arrived at the complainant’s house, ran some tests on him, and asked what he had had for dinner -- a burger, coincidentally. Since the tests results came back normal, they told the man he was probably just experiencing heart-burn and suggested he take some Tums. Whoops.
Six hour later, the man was found lying on the floor, dead of a massive heart attack. Uh-oh. Now, I’m not saying that the paramedics were incompetent, but damn if they didn’t serve this dude some sour pickles when he clearly didn't want any.
Edward Givens (1969 - 2008)
Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/03/AR2008120303696.html
"It's like raaaiiin on your wedding day. It's a free...". Wait a minute. How is rain on your wedding day ironic? Moving on...
Brian Douglas Wells was something of an underachiever. After dropping out of high school in 1973, he managed to stick with his dead end pizza delivery job for almost 30 years. His last pizza delivery would definitely be the most memorable.
There are a lot of sick, kid touching clergy on this planet. So much so that it shocks me when I find a man of the cloth into something other than little boys. Reverend Gary Aldridge, 41, may have tended his flock at the Thorington Road Baptist Church for 15 years, but that doesn't mean he didn't get his sick willy nilly's off now and again. Instead of feasting on the tiny pee-pees of Montgomery Alabama's youth, he had his eyes set on things of a latex nature.
Welcome to our continuing series on animal related deaths. Today's item concerns one Patrick Von Allmen, from Southern Indiana, 23-years-old, and the late owner of a 14-foot python that I'm going to call "Snuggles".
Even the dumbest people can come off as innocent victims, but that is an impossibility when you're wearing a mask and holding a gun. Christopher Barreto lead a life a crime, starting his dumb-assery when he was only 14 years old. I don't know what his home environment was, but I'm sure he got hit by chancletas and belts a lot, and may even have been made to kneel in rice. Still that doesn't excuse him for his future life of crime.
It really is sad what some women will do for a man... or money. Take poor ol' Nicola Last, who was somehow convinced by her travel mates (one of whom she may or may not have been romantically involved with) to ingest 34 bags of cocaine while vacationing in Trinidad. The ultimate goal being to smuggle them back into the UK.
There are millions of different ways to commit suicide. There are also a handful of justifiable reasons to do it. If given the choice between being raped by a bunch of silverback apes with razorblades tied to their dicks while I'm face down in 3 feet of shit, or death, I'm sure I'd choose death.
Here's an unusual one from the medical files: A 67-year-old man accidentally hanged himself by his sweater. Impossible you say?
Subway surfing, or "skylarking", as the NYC transit authority calls it -- why are you so weird transit authority? -- involves riding atop a moving subway car.
I hate getting on public transportation. I have to do it every goddamn day, and most people are annoying enough, without being drunk. I also hate going to concerts, only to be surrounded by inebreiated, shirtless morons or women that are trying hard not to throw up. You know what sounds even worse than this? A combo of the two.
Sure, we've all had marathon gaming sessions. Hell, I can recall countless sessions over the years where I've basked in the warm glow of my television, without seeing nary a ray of sunlight for days on end.
Generally, if you go out hunting for a certain kind of animal, you don't usually keep some in captivity. I don't think any bear hunters have pet bears, and I'm sure lion hunters, the big dumb assholes that they were, didn't have lion pets. So... why in the hell did Ronald Donah, a seasoned hunter, keep about a half dozen deer on his property? Hell, even the people who gave him the license to do so couldn't even figure it out!
What's funnier than a clown? Why, a dead clown, of course!
I guess for some people they need to add a certain spark back into their relationship and the only way they can do that is to amp up the electricity between them and their loved one. The simple addition of some lingerie didn't do it for Toby and Kirsten Taylor. They needed to turn things up to eleven and involve some nipple clamp electrodes! Shocking? Of course it is!
They say that laughter is the best medicine, which is why you might think that inhaling large quantities of nitrous oxide, a.k.a "laughing gas", could be a good thing.
William Lee Campbell, 41, of Colorado Springs, died recently. Unfortunately for William, there won't be anyone drinking in his honor because he got drunk, got on a motorcycle, and DUI'd, seriously injuring his passenger, Maria Renee Campbell. He could have hurt or killed others, but thankfully only his drunk ass is dead now. You would think a thousand commercials on TV or warning labels on beer bottles would spell it out for people by 2009.
Timothy Treadwell, an eccentric (which is really just a polite way of saying bug nuts) amateur naturalist, who lived with Grizzlies for a bunch of years in Alaska, was killed and eaten by one of his Grizzly friends while he slept in a tent with girlfriend Amie Huguenard, who was also killed in the attack.
We all know that cigarettes can kill, whether it be through cancer or an out of control fire, but there are other causes as well. Yes, sometimes smoking a butt can make you the butt of Death's big joke. In August of 2004, Hurricane Charley was having its way with Florida, raping the shit out of it again and again.
Stephen Paul Rauen was about as impressionable as the pavement that ended his life when he decided to try some early teenage stuntwork of his own. You see, this moronic dumbass thought he could atempt a stunt similar to something he saw on Jackass. Unfortunately for him, Knoxville and company are well versed at such things, and even provided the general brainless public with a disclaimer, telling you not to try to attempt these things yourself.
Always go with your gut instincts, don't second guess yourself, and stand true to your intentions. That being said, don't be a fucking idiot. Bungie jumping, sky diving, and car racing are all fun risk-taking exercises of excitement. Religion and faith, however, are not usually mentioned with them, and for good reason.
Kenneth Pinyan loved animals. He loved them so much that he allowed them to stick their parts inside of him. Yes, "Mr. Hands" let horses fuck him, and boy did he love it. What he did not love, however, was having his colon torn apart by massive horse cock. The guy was smart enough to work for Boeing, but not smart enough to realize that something as massive as equine penis might do some internal damage.
