Sudden Death!

As if the Nintendo Wii wasn’t already dangerous enough, what with flying Wiimotes, low-res graphics (Hello? Ever hear of eye strain?), and loads of shovelware threatening to devour your hard-earned cash, it seems a new threat has emerged in the form of the innocuous looking Wii Fit board.

The first casualty of this no doubt looming epidemic is Lewis Hickin, of Norfolk, England; only 25-years old, a drummer in a rock ‘n roll band, and a scout leader, Hickin was healthy, and could most likely tie a hitch knot.

Nevertheless, after ordering a kebab and sipping a glass of port wine, Hickin stepped onto the Wii Fit board for a little afternoon gaming sesh. While jogging in place, he suddenly collapsed to the floor. His girlfriend and friend phoned an ambulance and tried to revive him, but their efforts were for naught, as he would be pronounced dead upon arriving at the hospital.

The official cause of death still remains a mystery, although officials believe it to be a case of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome, aka SADS, aka we don’t have a fucking clue.

Here's the part where I usually end with a joke, but I'm a little freaked out by killer Wii Fit boards, and the prospect of being struck dead by SADS, so I think I'll stop typing now and lie motionless in the corner for a while.

Lewis Hickin (1984 – 2009)

Source: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5074714/Fit-and-healthy-25-year-old-died-using-Nintendo-Wii-Fit-game.html

Hold The Pickles

I have the utmost respect for individuals who are supremely competent at their jobs -- whether they are a firefighter, garbage man, school teacher, or jizz mopper in a peep-show booth. It doesn't matter. The point is, competence is not an easy thing to come by these days.

That said, even competent people make mistakes every now and then, but the severity of the consequences of those mistakes varies greatly depending on one's line of work. Let me give you an example:

If I go into McDonalds and ask for a hamburger without pickles, and I'm served a hamburger with pickles, nobody dies. If, however, I'm having a heart attack, and when the paramedics arrive, the best they can do is offer me a hamburger with pickles, the consequences might be very different. That's not quite what happened in this case, but it’s close enough.

A 39-year-old gentleman, from lovely Washington, “still not a state” D.C., called 911 to complain of chest pain and trouble breathing. Paramedics were dispatched, and when they arrived at the complainant’s house, ran some tests on him, and asked what he had had for dinner -- a burger, coincidentally. Since the tests results came back normal, they told the man he was probably just experiencing heart-burn and suggested he take some Tums. Whoops.

Six hour later, the man was found lying on the floor, dead of a massive heart attack. Uh-oh. Now, I’m not saying that the paramedics were incompetent, but damn if they didn’t serve this dude some sour pickles when he clearly didn't want any.

Edward Givens (1969 - 2008)

Source: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/12/03/AR2008120303696.html