You're Dead, Jim, You April Fool.

Someone once said "Jim Bailey was a thrill seeker." Someone also once said "Driving a car without good breaks is like skydiving without a parachute." Unfortunately, Jim Bailey never heard that phrase before. In fact, he didn't think he was about to go skydiving at all when he decided to try out his stunt.

Suspended from an airplane by a flimsy harness, Jim Bailey went from stunt man to stunted man once the damn thing broke. He managed to put up a little fight, hanging from the axle by his hands, but it wasn't enough. There are a few things that made this situation worse. First of all, he had no parachute. Secondly, it's all on video. I wouldn't post the video here if it was full of gore and nasty, but it isn't. Thidly, this was on April 1st, 1981. Tempting the fates of the fools much?

So take it all in and remember, don't do stupid shit. It will kill you.

Jim Bailey (? - 1981)

Master-Baiter

California native Jeff Twaddle, 54 -- Can I pause for a moment to point out what an awesome last name that is? Urban Dictionary offers the following definition:

1. To waddle due to an object inserted in one's bearded taco.

But I digress. Twaddle was a crew member on board a boat chartered to take some elementary school students from L.A. on a fishing trip. I imagine he was probably a fun guy to hang with. As evidence of this, he attempted to amuse the students by baiting a fish and sticking it in his mouth.

Things became unfunny very quickly, however, when he began choking on the fish. Crew members tried valiantly to save him, but were unsuccessful in their efforts. He would eventually become unconscious, go into full cardiac arrest, and later be pronounced dead at the hospital.

The autopsy would list the cause of death as "aspiration of fish", thus clearing up any uncertainty about the circumstances surrounding Twaddle's fishy death, and also ensuring that he would forever be remembered as the guy who choked to death on a fish, but not the guy with the last name that also means "To diddle one's twat."

Now, that's the real tragedy in my opinion.

Jeff Twaddle (1955 - 2009)

Source: http://www.latimes.com/news/la-me-choked-on-fish2-2009apr02,0,5570516.story

Hang "10" Dead Dude

Subway surfing, or "skylarking", as the NYC transit authority calls it -- why are you so weird transit authority? -- involves riding atop a moving subway car.

Sounds safe enough, right? Provided, of course, that you have Spider-man-like reflexes to avoid all of those steel girders coming at you at 50 miles per hour.

Unfortunately, 21-year-old merchant marine Brian Hochstetter seems to have never been bitten by a radioactive spider in his short life, because in 2005, while performing the aforementioned stunt, he was struck by a girder, causing a skull fracture, and his eventual death.

I understand some people are born daredevils who need that extra adrenaline rush every now and then. But, don't do stupid stuff like surfing on a subway car, unless you've got the panache to do it without slamming your head into a steel girder like a moron, moron.

Brian Hochstetter (1984 - 2005)

Source: http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9D07E2DE1338F936A25752C1A9659C8B63

You're A Dumbass, Jackass!

Stephen Paul Rauen was about as impressionable as the pavement that ended his life when he decided to try some early teenage stuntwork of his own. You see, this moronic dumbass thought he could atempt a stunt similar to something he saw on Jackass. Unfortunately for him, Knoxville and company are well versed at such things, and even provided the general brainless public with a disclaimer, telling you not to try to attempt these things yourself.

They did this for each and every episode and film. Stephen didn't pay attention, so when he got catapulted from the roof of a car, hit the pavement, and then was run over and dragged for a bit, his first and last thoughts ever were probably "Oh, shit. This was a bad idea." They say you learn from making mistakes. I guess that taught him!

Stephen Paul Rauen (1986 - 2002)