You're Dead, Jim, You April Fool.

Someone once said "Jim Bailey was a thrill seeker." Someone also once said "Driving a car without good breaks is like skydiving without a parachute." Unfortunately, Jim Bailey never heard that phrase before. In fact, he didn't think he was about to go skydiving at all when he decided to try out his stunt.

Suspended from an airplane by a flimsy harness, Jim Bailey went from stunt man to stunted man once the damn thing broke. He managed to put up a little fight, hanging from the axle by his hands, but it wasn't enough. There are a few things that made this situation worse. First of all, he had no parachute. Secondly, it's all on video. I wouldn't post the video here if it was full of gore and nasty, but it isn't. Thidly, this was on April 1st, 1981. Tempting the fates of the fools much?

So take it all in and remember, don't do stupid shit. It will kill you.

Jim Bailey (? - 1981)

Hangkok In Bangkok

"Natural causes" my ass. Actually, I guess any time you die because you can't breathe, or your heart stops, it could be considered natural. If you kept living, that would be some unnatural, demonic, android shit. Unfortunately for David Carradine, when you have a public image, what you do with your privates, in private, will eventually become public. That is even more true if it winds up killing you.

Apparently, Carradine was found in a closet, with a rope around his neck and his genitals. Now, auto-erotic asphyxiation has killed people before, including some famous ones, but none of them were naked inside of a closet at a hotel. There is also a report that his hands were tied behind his back. Does this mean that someone else was in there with him? If so, didn't they realize that a safe word is pointless when you're choking and can't talk?

Either way, unless he was murdered, which I doubt, this is one hell of a stupid way for a healthy 72-year-old to leave this world. Whether Bill killed Bill, or it was some hooker turning some Beatrix on his Kiddo, with a rope tied around his Hanzo and his sword, it just ain't right.

David Carradine (1936 - 2009)

Source: http://www.nationmultimedia.com/2009/06/04/headlines/headlines_30104421.php

Premature Incineration

There is just something special about a suicide bomber. I don't mean special in the "how precious, let's all hug you" sort of way. I mean special "drooling all over yourself on the shortest short bus, while doing whatever some dumbass tells you to do" kind of special. We don't get to deal with that kind of shit every day, and boy, are we glad about that.

So, usually when dealing with a suicide bomber, stupidity, fanaticism, and a lack of logic are all a given. However, when you self-detonate before you are supposed to, taking out six of your partners in crime at the same time, you're not just an idiot... you're a hero!

Rarely can we call terrorists of any sort a hero, but thankfully you've done such a BANG up job that we can thank you for it. Unfortunately, you left us without telling us who you were, but you'll always have a special place in our hearts... a place that is singed and littered with charred body parts.

Unknown (? - 2009)

Source: http://story.argentinastar.com/index.php/ct/9/cid/e974f944f2e7496e/id/482512/cs/1/

Master-Baiter

California native Jeff Twaddle, 54 -- Can I pause for a moment to point out what an awesome last name that is? Urban Dictionary offers the following definition:

1. To waddle due to an object inserted in one's bearded taco.

But I digress. Twaddle was a crew member on board a boat chartered to take some elementary school students from L.A. on a fishing trip. I imagine he was probably a fun guy to hang with. As evidence of this, he attempted to amuse the students by baiting a fish and sticking it in his mouth.

Things became unfunny very quickly, however, when he began choking on the fish. Crew members tried valiantly to save him, but were unsuccessful in their efforts. He would eventually become unconscious, go into full cardiac arrest, and later be pronounced dead at the hospital.

The autopsy would list the cause of death as "aspiration of fish", thus clearing up any uncertainty about the circumstances surrounding Twaddle's fishy death, and also ensuring that he would forever be remembered as the guy who choked to death on a fish, but not the guy with the last name that also means "To diddle one's twat."

Now, that's the real tragedy in my opinion.

Jeff Twaddle (1955 - 2009)

Source: http://www.latimes.com/news/la-me-choked-on-fish2-2009apr02,0,5570516.story

Sometimes Rubbers Don't Just Kill Sperm

There are a lot of sick, kid touching clergy on this planet. So much so that it shocks me when I find a man of the cloth into something other than little boys. Reverend Gary Aldridge, 41, may have tended his flock at the Thorington Road Baptist Church for 15 years, but that doesn't mean he didn't get his sick willy nilly's off now and again. Instead of feasting on the tiny pee-pees of Montgomery Alabama's youth, he had his eyes set on things of a latex nature.

Though his blind followers may not allow themselves to believe that their religious leader loved to swing from straps, while being covered from head to toe in rubber wet suits, with a condom covered dildo in his ass... that is exactly how the cops found him. Well, he gets a little bit of respect for not hurting anyone but himself with this, but come on man! Where the fuck was that dildo that you needed to put a condom on it? Do I want to know? Still, he did something wrong according to his beliefs and paid the ultimate price for it: an embarassing death, complete with anal masturbation. I'm sure his family was super happy with what happened.

Gary Aldridge (1960 - 2007)

Source: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2007/1008072scuba1.html

Erin Go Fuck Yourself!

William Lee Campbell, 41, of Colorado Springs, died recently. Unfortunately for William, there won't be anyone drinking in his honor because he got drunk, got on a motorcycle, and DUI'd, seriously injuring his passenger, Maria Renee Campbell. He could have hurt or killed others, but thankfully only his drunk ass is dead now. You would think a thousand commercials on TV or warning labels on beer bottles would spell it out for people by 2009.

Now that I come to think of it, today is an important day for us here. You see, today is St. Patrick's day, a celebration of when St. Patty died. (Ironic?) Really, is there any better day for us at www.HaHaYouDied.com to celebrate?

Yes. How about "I Won't Go Out And Get Drunk And Annoying In Primary Colors Day"? We're all about people being dumbshits, taking themselves out of the life equation, but don't injure innocent bystanders, or throw up on them. Let them fuck up on their own!

William Lee Campbell (1968 - 2009)