Welcome to our continuing series on animal related deaths. Today's item concerns one Patrick Von Allmen, from Southern Indiana, 23-years-old, and the late owner of a 14-foot python that I'm going to call "Snuggles".Snuggles, like most members of the Pythonidae family, had a real fondness for squeezing, or constricting things that it loved so very much, such as rodents, cats, neighborhood dogs, and one Patrick Von Allmen.
Sadly for Von Allmen, Snuggles squeezed a little too hard one fateful day when, according to family members, the young man informed them he was going to the shed to "treat the snake for a medical condition." How anyone can tell a snake is sick, I've no clue.
I'm going to assume the conversation went something like this:
Patrick Von Allmen (imagine Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel from The Simpsons): Hey mom, pa, sis, my darlin' wife (also directed at his sister), I'm goin' to the shed over yonder to fix up Snuggles somethin' good, 'cause he been sick as a dog lately.
Nevertheless, poor Von Allmen was found a few hours later, dead as a doornail, with the most deadly necktie imaginable coiled around his willowy neck. Poor, stupid Patrick Von Allmen. Done in by your own pet.
In the words of Nelson Muntz: Hah-Ha!
Patrick Von Allmen (1983 - 2006)
Source: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14683082/
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